One of the Worst Questions Ever…

What should I do?

Yep, worst question ever. I like to call it the “question of despair” because it makes you go round and round in your head until you go mental.

It’s like asking your spouse, “What do you want to do for dinner?” (By the way, that’s the second worst question ever.) What happens is a lengthy discussion of dinner options but no real concrete answer. It’s pretty much a back and forth of, “I don’t know. What do you want?” Ugh.

The other day I was faced with the what-should-I-do question. My wife was away for the weekend and I had the house to myself. It was an odd situation. I’m usually working six days a week, or my wife has plans for us, or there’s a family event, or…there’s something. But not this time.

What should I do?

To solve this great mystery, I decided to journal about it. I came up with a list of 25 or so possibilities. For example, I could have walked the dogs, taken the dogs for a swim, had breakfast and coffee at Rick’s Diner, gone for a run, called my Mother, written a blog post, cleaned the house, or picked one of the hundreds of outstanding house and yard projects. By the time I was done writing, I was no better off. In fact, I was worse off because there were too many choices and I couldn’t pick one.

I know my little “weekend dilemma” is trivial. But the worst question ever—what should I do—doesn’t help even the toughest situations, like job loss, divorce, illness, or not being able to pay the bills.

Why can’t we get clarity from such a simple question? I have found two reasons as to why it’s such a difficult question to answer.

First Reason

The what-should-I-do question is way too broad. In many situations there could be hundreds of possibilities (slight exaggeration) when you dig deep enough. It’s like going to the grocery store and deciding between the dozens of different medium roast coffees on the shelf. Which one do you pick? The one that you have always known. Unfortunately, the same choice made over and over again could be the reason why you’re stuck.

Second Reason

The what-should-I-do question is drawing from the problem context. In other words, and paraphrasing from Albert Einstein, you are using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place.

To get out of your circular thinking, you need to change the context or view the problem from a different perspective. You can do this by asking different parts of yourself what they would do. Kind of like asking, ”What would Jesus do?” if that’s your thing.

When I was finally fed up with getting nowhere in what I should do with my day, I ditched the question of despair and tried a new angle. I first started with the outcome I desired, which was to have a relaxing, peaceful, and restful kind of day. I then turned it into a question, “What would my totally relaxed and restful self want to do?” Now the possibilities have narrowed to something manageable. In fact, I was able to decide within 20 seconds. My relaxed and restful self wanted to swim with dogs and lay in the hammock. So that’s what I did. Perfect day.

Your turn. Next time you need to make a decision or you find yourself asking, “What should I do?”, pick a different part of yourself or a character and let them answer it for you. Here’s a short list to get you started:

• What would your past Self do? Future Self?
• What would your naughty Self do?
• What would your powerful Self do?
• What would Yoda do?
• What would your wise and appropriate Self do?

Alternatively, you could define the outcome you want and then turn it into a question, like so:

(Outcome). What would my (outcome) self want to do?

Ex. A playful and creative day. What would my playful and creative self want to do?